He knows!

What do my 16 year old self and my nearly 54 year old self have in common? Give up? It is not my girlish (um..really?) figure, my (now) auburn hair, or the knowledge I have. We were and are both loved by God, a Heavenly Father, a real being who existed then and exists now. I recently experienced a distinctive manifestation of that love that I want to share with the people I love the most.
Our family has many levels of belief and understandings of God. In order to communicate this experience best, I'd like to put my belief and understanding out here so as you read, you can use it as the context. I believe in God who directed the creation of a beautiful earth to give his beloved children a place to live and grow, and who set in motion natural laws that govern the earth's processes (geologic, meteorologic, etc.) Each part was created spiritually before it was created physically, including me. God knew me then, as he knew each spirit creation. He gave me a particular, unique package of personality, intellect, and propensities, and just like the natural processes, He set governing laws for my existence. His hopes for me as I became a mortal being through birth in a human family were such that the interplay of my "package" with the circumstances that I encountered and choices I would learn to make would propel me to become like He is, a perfect being. He wants me to come back to live with Him.
Because He loves us, He has distributed His power, the Priesthood, among mere men. These are pretty ordinary men who have promised to follow His Son (and thus Him) and keep the commandments. In fact, all of my sons have had the priesthood conferred upon them. It is only useable if they keep their covenants. One of the offices of the priesthood is a Patriarch, which is a formal calling to use the priesthood in a particular way: they receive revelation from God in order to give a once in a lifetime blessing to those who seek this information. Each blessing is unique to the person receiving it, and gives guidance about gifts and weaknesses that helps an individual throughout one's life.
When I was 16, I received a Patriarchal Blessing. I have often read it, worked to develop gifts mentioned, and recognized (sometimes in hindsight) what God knows about my potential. It is NOT in any way connected to predestination. God does not limit his children. There ARE hints or direct statements about what that potential is, and what one's purpose in life may be.
I have developed through the years a vibrant knowledge that God is real, that he knows ME as an individual, and cares about what I do. He loves me. I really can't explain the depth of His love, but because I have experienced it, I know it. The closest I can come to understanding or explaining it is through my experience as a mother.
My life recently has been pretty intense in preparing for a new professional chapter in my life. I have felt guided and have gained more confidence in the moving forward to unknown paths, because of God's love for me. I have had an underlying feeling that somehow this fits into the potential God would like me to reach.
Now to the recent experience: Wednesday (March 30) was the day I was to begin my interview experience at Weber State University. When I left home that morning, I would do 5 classroom observations, spending over 6 hours at a school before going the additional hour to Ogden and the dinner with the search committee. I had gotten a priesthood blessing from Steve Tuesday night, in which I was calmed and encouraged. My prayers Wednesday morning were pretty selfish prayers focused on what I was going to be doing, with a little praying for others. As I rose from my knees to continue my morning routine, to my mind came a phrase from my patriarchal blessing given almost 40 years ago. I have come to recognize these kinds of thoughts as messages from God, whispered by His Spirit. "You will achieve and gain knowledge and great skill as you continue in the realms of higher education and learning. Through your humbleness and prayerfulness and by listening to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, you will know all that you should do." For me, this was a direct message, revelation, that God was encouraging me. I HAD achieved a measure of knowledge & skill, and He would help me as I went through the interview experiences. I felt His confidence in me during my teaching, during all the various interviews with the Dean and numerous faculty, and during my research presentation. How could I NOT have confidence in myself? I realized more strongly than ever that He knows me.
Because of my great love for MY children, I want to share this experience in hopes that you will also come to know or come to know more deeply and firmly of His love for you. Amidst all of the demands of this life, the more one tries to find how to align one's life with God's, the more an individual comes to know and feel His love. It's always there.