Our Christmas Tree Adventure

Saturday we went up to Apple Hill to get our Christmas Tree. James, of course, had lots of homework, so we got a pretty late start and knew we would have to pick out a tree fast before it got dark. We were looking for the hunt n cut farm we usually go to when our car started overheating. FAST. We turned on the heater, but before long the heater was blowing out cold air. (That can’t be good.) We pulled over in a drive way. I was ready to call Triple A and go home, but James was adamant that we would NOT be leaving without a tree. So while James let the car cool off, Sam and I walked up the hill to begin Christmas Tree browsing. It was almost dark. We were the only ones there. The farmer was very old and seemed a little worried that we wanted a Christmas Tree so late. James talked to a young guy that was visiting the farmer’s family and wrangled some water to fill up the radiator. Soon he found Sam and I, and together we found the most beautiful Christmas Tree EVER. While James strapped the tree to the roof of our little Honda Civic, the farmer called Autozone to see if they were still open (it was almost 5:00 for goodness sake!) and his wife gave Sam and I a little bag of apples. We stood around the car for a few minutes discussing how to get to Autozone and putting giant pickle jars of water in the trunk, while Sam showed me over and over, “A doggie! A doggie! A doggie!” The farmer noticed and called “Shirley,” his aging Britney Spaniel, over to entertain Sam. Sam was thrilled (like he never sees dogs or something) and was happy petting Shirley while the grown-ups did whatever it is that grown-ups do. I was keeping an eye on Sam and Shirley while I put our apples in the car. Shirley was old so I wasn’t sure how much she would appreciate an almost 2 year old touching her, but since the farmer called her over to visit I figured she must be used to grandkids. I reminded Sam to be gentle even though he was doing a good job of being gentle, and he thought it was hilarious that Shirley kept putting her itchy bum in his face for him to scratch. Sam turned to look at me, thrilled that he was petting a dog, just as Shirley thrust her bum into the side of Sam’s head. Sam started to fall and reached out to grab Shirley’s bum. Shirley didn’t like that. She moved quick for such an old gal. Not a little warning snap either. She told Sam what was up … a few times. At that point the farmer was standing at just the right angle to block my view of where Sam and Shirley met. I thought she just snapped up his hands good. But after a minute or two I could slowly see she got Sam’s face. He got a good bruise and a little blood right under his eye, and another bite mark over his nose. It was pretty heartbreaking to see him so sad, especially because the poor little guy didn’t even do anything. He was being gentle, darn it. Well, that got us on the road quick. We kinda felt like we got took. We paid $53.00 for the Christmas Tree! But we didn’t really have much choice, and like I said, it is the most beautiful Christmas Tree EVER. It was nice that they gave us water and a few apples, but then their dog tried to eat my kid, so … I’m not sure who came out on top. Oh, I forgot the funniest part. There was also this raggedy looking orange barn cat there. Sam kept showing it to me, “A cat! A cat!” When Sam was crying from his brush with death at the jaws of Shirley the old farmer went and got that nasty cat and tried to bring him over for Sam to pet! That thing was hissing and growling and scratching that poor old man! Too bad I didn’t see him do that BEFORE he called Shirley over, then I would have known not to trust his judgment in his animals’ temperaments!
Well, if you’re feeling bad for Sam I’ll give you the whole story so he can REALLY get some sympathy. That same morning when we were taking Daddy to work, Sam fell down the cement stairs out front and got a good bump and road rash on his forehead. Then the tussle with Shirley happened. Then, back at home, he fell off the kitchen chair he wasn’t supposed to be standing on and got a bump on the other side of his forehead. The next day he decided to give himself a haircut … in the tub … with the razor. Then today (please don’t call CPS) I accidentally shut the tip of his thumb in the car door. Yep. Poor guy.
So … our Christmas Tree Adventure didn’t really go as planned … (I didn’t even get any pie, darn it!) But it made me really thankful to be a girl. When the car broke down, other than offering my Triple A card, my work was done. James had to figure out how to keep us safe and not lose all our savings towing and fixing our only car. My job was to have a good time with Sam while Daddy made everything better. It was a little disappointing not to have the family outing we thought it would be, but we did have a good time. When I was a kid, having a disaster like that would have definitely ruined the whole day and everyone would have hated each other. Sam’s probably not old enough to even remember this trip (which may be good to prevent a future dog phobia) but even if he was old enough to remember, I’m sure he would remember it as a fun trip. He had no idea we got ourselves in a mess. He just thought we were taking an extra long walk to get to the trees. And he really was excited to pick one out - that was neat - to see him “discussing the merits” of each tree in different tones of nonsense adjectives. Sam is very proud of his special tree. He gets excited every morning when he sees it. He likes to turn the light switch on to light it up, and we catch him smelling it and (for some reason) blowing on it – not sure what that’s about, but it sure is cute.