I just finished reading & critiquing an essay for an old California friend. She's in a beginning English class, taking some first steps for more education since High School. Her essay was a cause & effect essay talking about how the 60's changed 'us'. I started thinking about changes, and although there are influences daily that change me, there have been some watershed events.
1. Assassinations (JFK, Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., Anwar Sadat, Indira Gandhi)
2. Divorce
3. My dad's death at an early age (58)
4. My Gospel conversion (and reaffirmation)
5. Childbirth & being a mom
6. Meeting & marrying Steve
7. Moving to Utah
While you think you know why these are life-changing events, you might be surprised if you ask!
What are your life changing events, and why?
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We'll post soon. I've been threatening to set up a blog for a while now, so I'm glad you did it. In the mean time, I'd like to hear more about HOW each of those events has changed you.
Assassinations:
Nov. 1963--6 years old
Apr. & June 1968--11 years old
1979-22 yrs. old
1984-27 yrs. old
I think the JFK assassination was the first time I knew people could be hurt by having an opinion different from others. JFK, RFK, MLK, and Anwar Sadat held out great promise for changing the world into a more equitable place. I have always fought for (in my little sphere) equality of opportunity, beginning in my childhood years. I was particularly spurred to action by the RFK & MLK ideals, and saw myself as carrying out their visions as I interacted with people of all races, creeds, etc.
The Indira Gandhi assassination was at the hand of her own bodyguards, because of what they saw as Sikh entitlement, and what she saw as a need for more equity.
I suppose these all serve to remind me that making a difference is not always popular; I feel like initially it caused me not to express my opinion verbally, but to find ways to bring groups together. As I've gotten older, however, I'm more willing to take at least a semi-dangerous stand!
Divorce: lessons learned:
1. marriage can be 100% successful only if both parties commit to absolutely having the best interest of the other at heart, working through the tough times.
2. There ARE deal breakers, but very few.
3. God knows me as an individual, and cares about my well-being. He has set the norms, but will guide individuals in their circumstance.
4. I can rebuild from ground zero.
5. I am strong
Dad's Early Death
You always think you have time. We were just getting to have a more open adult relationship. Changes: Don't always be putting off things. Daddy had a lot of things he wanted to do after he retired, but he never got to retire. I try to sprinkle some fun in where I can, so I'm not in that situation. I also try to keep relationships good, and tell people what they mean to me frequently. (another lesson is to do everything I can to maintain good health)
The Gospel --opened up new vistas I didn't know existed. It gave new reasons for morality, family relationships, and choices. It changes me every day as I continue to look for and find joy in my experiences. Even with my good, well-grounded up-bringing, the Gospel changed my relationship with God and the Savior into a very personal realization.
Childbirth & mom-dom:
Being responsible initially for someone else is a singular experience. It is absolutely the 'achievement' I am most proud of. To shepherd another's development and watch as they become successful is amazing. I was always in it for what I could give, and how I could help, never for what I would get. But now that I'm the mother of adult 'children' I can look back on what I continually got, and still receive. Before you are a parent, you never dream that you can rejoice so completely when your child experiences wonderful things, and be hurt so deeply when your child experiences pain...no matter how old they are!
Meeting & marrying Steve: After deciding that life was just fine (& maybe better) as a single person, meeting Steve showed me that marrying the right someone is a multiplicative function. We are more than the sum of our strengths. I found that I can be myself openly and be appreciated for who I am, and not have that vulnerability be misused.
Moving to Utah:
I can have more influence than just being that favorite teacher in Pleasant Grove. I can play in a bigger pond and not get eaten by the big fish.
OK, that was long, and I even shortened things up, but those are some of the ways I've been changed by my life's experiences.
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