Well I found it ironic that the day I got laid off, was the day after I worked my first real paid photography gig. What a weird way to celebrate.
Well the event I shot was a corporate party/reception that they themed the Wine & Culinary Olympics. Essentially there were various stations around the room where people had to perform various tasks. At one you could draw your own wine label. Another was like a jeopardy board of wine & culinary trivia. There was a station where you had to sip wine and guess which was the $100 bottle. There were others but in the end the top six with the most points would win prizes. I took photos of the opening remarks, some of the activities, trying to get everyone that was there and then of course the prizes, the closing remarks and a few parting shots as people had their last bits of food and drink and headed towards the trolley to whatever hotels they were staying at.
Got home worried that I didn't take enough photos or how poorly they would look. Worked on them through the weekend and sent the CD to the client this morning. They didn't turn out GREAT but were better than I'd heard about so I don't suspect too much complaining. Some pics did turn out quite good so hopefully that wins them over. If they like what I did, it could mean more jobs and since they paid me $500 for this job, I'm hoping they'd be willing to pay a little more now that they know what I can do.
SOOO excited! I'm a professional photographer! As the doubts come in my brain I worry about whether I'm just an amateur posing as a professional but I guess the reality of that is yet to come. In the meantime, I'll just keep doing my best, learning lessons along the way and improving myself whenever I can.
Monday, October 27, 2008
How the economy has affected me
Well it's taken me all weekend to kind of get my mind wrapped around this but now I can tell everyone. The short of it is that I got laid off Friday morning. The details basically go like this:
The company I worked for provided coaching, systems and tools to real estate agents that signed up for membership with us. The main way of gaining new members was a tiered system by which we would hold a 3-day conference each month in various cities around the country to sell attendees on the idea that they should join our membership. Before this, we would hold ten free 3.5 hour workshops in various places around this city that we'd pick to introduce real estate agents in the area about our Main Event. So an agent would attend a workshop, go to the Main Event and hopefully sign up as a member. That's how we earned our money.
My job was to build the lists of agents we were going to market to in order to drive them to these workshops. As time went on my responsibilities grew. I'd do reports, sit in on meetings and even started being trained on some administrative things the sales department would do. Essentially it got to the point where my job had become so secure only one thing could end it without my having done something to earn being fired. They had to stop doing workshops. Guess what happened?
They made the decision last week that the Seattle run we were working on would be our last workshops and the last main events we would hold. Half the sales team was let go as well as me. The guy below me that helped update the lists...somehow survived. Not sure what he's doing now but it kinda shocked me that I was asked to leave and he stayed. I figured it'd be futile and childish to argue about it so I just packed my things calmly, smiled and shook hands, said "that's business. It's OK" and left.
So now I've applied for unemployment, got forbearance on student loans until next October and will try to consolidate a couple of my credit accounts that I have with Wells Fargo (since they've offered a million times before and I turned them down) and based on our personal budget, so long as we pay for our NEED expenses only, then we can pretty well make it forever since much of our debt balances will work to zero by next summer and that should help us out just as the money is running out.
Just to ease the pressure and questions, we still have money to do the things we've already planned through the rest of 2008 including coming up for Christmas. We've saved away a certain amount for those things and the money is already there. Spending them will not put us in a bad spot so we're going ahead with our plans.
We have a friend of ours coming out from Ottawa for a week, we're doing Halloween with friends in Chandler, AZ and then there's Christmas. Victoria is working extra overtime so we can get me some of the clothes I need. My Dockers are frayed at the bottoms and I'm running out of t-shirts that I can use as undershirts and mostly short sleeve button up business shirts. So hopefully that money will allow me to get those things I need and then we'll be all set until I get a new job.
I plan on applying for permanent positions right away including at UCSD which pays pretty well. Victoria is helping me with that. After Rhian goes back to Ottawa I'll apply with temp agencies and if I still have nothing in six months I may start looking at ANYTHING that I might possibly be able to do.
Anyways, prayers will help as usual. This economy is the pits. Everything I'm hearing is that I could be out of work for a long time since even temp agencies are having trouble placing people but I'm crossing fingers, praying to Heavenly Father and I have faith that something better than I had is around the corner. It might not come as fast or in the way I want it to but I'm sure it will come all the same.
Love you all and miss you terribly. This blog has become such a great blessing. I love hearing from you guys so far and it makes me feel so much closer to you.
The company I worked for provided coaching, systems and tools to real estate agents that signed up for membership with us. The main way of gaining new members was a tiered system by which we would hold a 3-day conference each month in various cities around the country to sell attendees on the idea that they should join our membership. Before this, we would hold ten free 3.5 hour workshops in various places around this city that we'd pick to introduce real estate agents in the area about our Main Event. So an agent would attend a workshop, go to the Main Event and hopefully sign up as a member. That's how we earned our money.
My job was to build the lists of agents we were going to market to in order to drive them to these workshops. As time went on my responsibilities grew. I'd do reports, sit in on meetings and even started being trained on some administrative things the sales department would do. Essentially it got to the point where my job had become so secure only one thing could end it without my having done something to earn being fired. They had to stop doing workshops. Guess what happened?
They made the decision last week that the Seattle run we were working on would be our last workshops and the last main events we would hold. Half the sales team was let go as well as me. The guy below me that helped update the lists...somehow survived. Not sure what he's doing now but it kinda shocked me that I was asked to leave and he stayed. I figured it'd be futile and childish to argue about it so I just packed my things calmly, smiled and shook hands, said "that's business. It's OK" and left.
So now I've applied for unemployment, got forbearance on student loans until next October and will try to consolidate a couple of my credit accounts that I have with Wells Fargo (since they've offered a million times before and I turned them down) and based on our personal budget, so long as we pay for our NEED expenses only, then we can pretty well make it forever since much of our debt balances will work to zero by next summer and that should help us out just as the money is running out.
Just to ease the pressure and questions, we still have money to do the things we've already planned through the rest of 2008 including coming up for Christmas. We've saved away a certain amount for those things and the money is already there. Spending them will not put us in a bad spot so we're going ahead with our plans.
We have a friend of ours coming out from Ottawa for a week, we're doing Halloween with friends in Chandler, AZ and then there's Christmas. Victoria is working extra overtime so we can get me some of the clothes I need. My Dockers are frayed at the bottoms and I'm running out of t-shirts that I can use as undershirts and mostly short sleeve button up business shirts. So hopefully that money will allow me to get those things I need and then we'll be all set until I get a new job.
I plan on applying for permanent positions right away including at UCSD which pays pretty well. Victoria is helping me with that. After Rhian goes back to Ottawa I'll apply with temp agencies and if I still have nothing in six months I may start looking at ANYTHING that I might possibly be able to do.
Anyways, prayers will help as usual. This economy is the pits. Everything I'm hearing is that I could be out of work for a long time since even temp agencies are having trouble placing people but I'm crossing fingers, praying to Heavenly Father and I have faith that something better than I had is around the corner. It might not come as fast or in the way I want it to but I'm sure it will come all the same.
Love you all and miss you terribly. This blog has become such a great blessing. I love hearing from you guys so far and it makes me feel so much closer to you.
Voting
I went to an 'early voting' site today, waited 20 minutes in line and cast my 2008 vote. This was SOO much better than the several (over 2 I think) hours in line at the primary election. This time I was standing between 2 elderly people in line, who were clearly voting for McCain. They were speaking back & forth a bit. At one point one said, "Obama scares me", to which the other agreed. One's husband chimed in, "He's a socialist!" I simply said, "There have been an awful lot of untrue things circulating about him."
I haven't been much of a part of the system this time around, since I spend so much of my time in what I call my 'cave'. I'm so embroiled in work, school, studying, and have been spending a considerable amount of time at my grad study carrel in the 'grad lab' on the 3rd floor of the McKay (Education) building. I did try to go to some reputable websites for information, but I would have liked to have felt more well-informed. In 4 more years I should be more free to do a more careful study.
I will reveal that I supported Obama alot because he seems to have plans outlined, even if I can't see where the money will come from to carry them out; he also seemed to avoid badmouthing McCain and stuck to issues; Joe Biden gives a favorable impression, although I don't specifically know his record;
My vote was also in part an anti-McCain vote due to his Iraq stance, and an unfavorable impression I have of Palin.
Embarrassingly, I forgot to look at what either candidate plans to do about education! I was a little more concerned about Iraq, Afganistan, an the economy.
Does anyone want to fill in the blanks for me? I know Daniel is usually abreast of politics.
I haven't been much of a part of the system this time around, since I spend so much of my time in what I call my 'cave'. I'm so embroiled in work, school, studying, and have been spending a considerable amount of time at my grad study carrel in the 'grad lab' on the 3rd floor of the McKay (Education) building. I did try to go to some reputable websites for information, but I would have liked to have felt more well-informed. In 4 more years I should be more free to do a more careful study.
I will reveal that I supported Obama alot because he seems to have plans outlined, even if I can't see where the money will come from to carry them out; he also seemed to avoid badmouthing McCain and stuck to issues; Joe Biden gives a favorable impression, although I don't specifically know his record;
My vote was also in part an anti-McCain vote due to his Iraq stance, and an unfavorable impression I have of Palin.
Embarrassingly, I forgot to look at what either candidate plans to do about education! I was a little more concerned about Iraq, Afganistan, an the economy.
Does anyone want to fill in the blanks for me? I know Daniel is usually abreast of politics.
Monday, October 20, 2008
I just thought I'd add that the Peter Grubb Hut didn't actually disappear, Donielle and I were just talking too much to notice that in three years more trees had grown up around the cabin and we walked right past it. also no, we didn't forget the stroller behind the tree, I pulled it empty the rest of the way down the mountain. Just thought I'd tie up the loose ends. Let me know if I forgot any others. P.S. as a historical note, that sunday that we were there,(June 26th) there was an earthquake of 4.8 right near us, that shook the cabin so much I thought there was an avalanche coming down the valley.
Our weekend
This past Sunday after church Donielle and Sam and I went on a hike to Round valley near Truckee, Ca and we had a great time. The trail we chose is a shortcut of the Pacific Crest Trail using a four-wheel-drive road till it meets up with the trail at Andesite Ridge. We decided to try to take the regular stroller for Sam, since he is more comfortable in it than the hiking stroller, and we had just used it on a trail a few weeks ago and it did fine, but this trail was definitely a made for four-wheel-drive which left Sam bouncing around, and the strollers wheels bending in ways they weren’t supposed to. We got to the end of the road and decided to fold up the stroller and hide it behind a dead tree to continue up the trail. We made it to the top so quickly we didn’t want to go back yet. Sam got in his pack and up we went another 124 feet to the summit were we could see both valleys on either side of us. Donielle and I talked about the last time we hiked in to the Peter Grubb hut a little more than three years ago. We planned to hike in to the cabin early Saturday morning, enjoy the day reading and cook an elaborate meal, then spend the next day doing the same before hiking out in the afternoon. We hadn’t expected snow to cover ¾ of the length of the trail in the end of June. Instead of our quick hike, we spent 10 hours hiking, backtracking, stopping to read the map, and sliding around in the snow. By the time we got to Andesite Ridge, that day we were exhausted and there was the first hint that we were running out of daylight. The trail was nowhere to be seen, but we were at the top lip of the bowl of Round Valley were the cabin should have been. As we were studying the map two guys that weren’t dressed for the snow came running over the top of the ridge where we had just come from with there backpacks and they looked like this was the easiest hike ever. We were worried about making it to the still unseen cabin, but they just plowed right on down the hill without the trail. We finally made it to the cabin just after dark, and had a chance to talk with them. They took the easy trail, the same one we took this time. As we got down into the valley this time, we walked till we were sure the cabin had to have been just around the next corner, but then the valley started turning into forest again. We decided that even though we were sure we were close that we’d better just sit down and eat our lunch so we could start to head back out. After I ate a bit, I climbed up a large rock outcropping to see if there was another trail nearby, or perhaps we hiked into the wrong valley, but it all seemed too familiar to be wrong. As I climbed down I saw two other hikers looking at a map. I said hello and asked “Are you guys looking for the Peter Grubb Hut too?”, and they were. They had hiked around Castle Peak and were on there way out, but wanted to stop by the hut before they left, but they couldn’t find it either. It was starting to get dark so we all packed up and started back. At first they other couple was ahead of us on the trail but they waited at the top of the ridge to make sure they had good directions back to their car, because they didn’t have a flashlight. We told them that the Pacific Crest Trail winds around more and is harder to find, so they should just go down the 4x4 trail with us and we’d give them a ride. At first they said they would try to find the trail, but six or seven minutes later we heard them behind us and stopped to let them catch up. We talked about other fun trails, and their kids who are 18, and 21, and of course Sam who was being such a good boy the whole trip. Even hiking in the dark was fun.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
have no fear
It has been commented privately that what may be revealed on the blog might cause family issues. If you know me (part of the purpose of this blog is for all of us to get to know, understand, & appreciate each other), you know I'm very WYSIWYG. There are no hidden agendas, grudges, etc. A very consistent trait I've had commented on through the years is my genuineness.
The group of individuals who make up our family are all quite intelligent. I hope this feels like a safe place to express your opinions, as well as report on the ordinary 'doings' of your family.
This week for me was pretty ordinary, except for less sleep than usual! I was at the gym by 5:30--later than I'd like, and only 2 days. At work by 6:30, on campus by 2:30, TAing for Stats on Monday, consulting with a student afterward, home by 8:30; Tuesday in class until 9, home by 9:45; Wednesday in class until 10, home by 10:45; Thursday, I had a great meeting with my dissertation chair, Dr. Sterling Hilton; went halloween costume shopping with Ben, Ricky, and Carisa--home at 9:30; Friday after work I went shopping instead of to campus! All of my clothes are too large for me, so I tried to find a couple new things to wear. I ended up with only 1 pair of pants. Good news: I don't have to shop in the fat lady department. Bad news: I'm in-between size 14 & size 16. Five more pounds would make 14's just right. The other bad news is that I couldn't find shirts I like and that are on the long side.
Today I'm conducting the music in Sacrament meeting and teaching a lesson in Relief Society.
The group of individuals who make up our family are all quite intelligent. I hope this feels like a safe place to express your opinions, as well as report on the ordinary 'doings' of your family.
This week for me was pretty ordinary, except for less sleep than usual! I was at the gym by 5:30--later than I'd like, and only 2 days. At work by 6:30, on campus by 2:30, TAing for Stats on Monday, consulting with a student afterward, home by 8:30; Tuesday in class until 9, home by 9:45; Wednesday in class until 10, home by 10:45; Thursday, I had a great meeting with my dissertation chair, Dr. Sterling Hilton; went halloween costume shopping with Ben, Ricky, and Carisa--home at 9:30; Friday after work I went shopping instead of to campus! All of my clothes are too large for me, so I tried to find a couple new things to wear. I ended up with only 1 pair of pants. Good news: I don't have to shop in the fat lady department. Bad news: I'm in-between size 14 & size 16. Five more pounds would make 14's just right. The other bad news is that I couldn't find shirts I like and that are on the long side.
Today I'm conducting the music in Sacrament meeting and teaching a lesson in Relief Society.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Prop 8
For those of you in Utah that may not know, Proposition 8 on California’s ballot this election, has to do with same-sex marriage. You probably remember Proposition 22 a few years back; it changed the language in California’s constitution to state more clearly that marriage can only be recognized between one man and one woman. It passed with 61% of the vote. Earlier this year the Supreme Court overturned that decision, with a 4 to 3 vote, on the basis that it was a civil rights violation, and for the last several months many same-sex couples have been getting married. You probably saw pictures of Ellen Degeneres and Portia DeRossi’s wedding. Well, Proposition 8 proposes to overturn the Supreme Court’s decision and make same-sex marriage, again, unrecognized in the state of California.
Supporters of Proposition 8 say they want to protect marriage and protect the family. The No-On-Prop-8-Supporters say that they want equality for all, and that same-sex couples deserve to have the legal and financial benefits given to traditional married couples.
This has been a tough decision for me. I feel like no one should be discriminated against, especially from a gospel perspective. I’ve received several emails of “Yes on 8” propaganda. All of them have made me cringe. Most of them were videos on YouTube. Not only were they cheesy, but they were ignorant, and almost bigoted. They were obviously using fear tactics to get their message across, and it wasn’t working for me.
Here’s where it gets sticky … The Church doesn’t say much about politics. In fact, the only time I know of the First Presidency encouraging us to vote a certain way has been with Proposition 22, and now Proposition 8. So I know the Prophet has said that we should vote “Yes,” and I KNOW that he knows best, but I’ve had a hard time figuring out why exactly it’s so important that our state’s constitution specifically recognizes marriage only between a man and a woman. So up until recently my sample ballot has been checked “yes” only because I believe the prophet knows best, but I certainly wasn’t planning on sticking a sign in my yard or knocking on doors like many of our ward members.
The only argument I have been hearing from supporters of Prop 8 that seems half way credible is that, because of education code § 51890, if same-sex marriage became legal it would have to be taught in public schools as being no different from traditional marriage. (This is where the scary music comes on and they show the children’s book depicting “Bobby’s dad and his partner, Chuck, making dinner.”) Okay, so ... I don’t actually have a problem with that. I actually want my son to understand that there are all different kinds of families out there, people make different choices, they try to figure out how to be happy in this big world with lots of choices, and I certainly would never want him to feel inclined to make fun of “Bobby-with-the-two-dads.” It’s at home that we would have the conversation about how important family is, and how the kind of marriage that Heavenly Father has planned for us is only between a man and a woman. But that doesn’t mean if someone makes a different choice that they are a bad person or that we should treat them differently. It means that we should be thankful we have the gospel that shows us how to make the best choices so that we can have the most happiness. I don’t ever want to depend on the public school system to teach my children morals or values. That is my job. And if I feel that my child is in a poisonous environment and is being brainwashed, then that’s when I step in as a parent and find a private school that suits my values, or begin homeschooling. So the whole argument about it being the end of the world if diversity is taught in public school just doesn’t fly with me.
On the other side of the argument we hear, “We need to have same-sex marriage legally recognized so that same-sex partners can visit eachother in the hospital.” Really??? We need to make a law to change hospital policies? I actually couldn’t find any real instance of someone not being able to visit their partner in the hospital because they weren’t legally married, but I have heard a lot of talk about that; that it’s absolutely not acceptable for that to happen. I agree. It’s not. But if we legalize same-sex marriage does that mean we’ll never have to worry about that? Will you have to keep your marriage certificate folded up in your wallet just in case? Come on, that’s silly. If hospital policy is discriminating, you tell the hospital. If they don’t budge you have a protest. Everybody loves a good protest … except hospitals. That’s bad for their reputation, and that changes things quick. But do you know why we haven’t seen any protests on T.V.? Because it’s not happening! It’s not a real problem! (At least not in California.) It’s just something completely hypothetical that sounds scary. “What about the legal aspects? If a partner dies, how will their surviving partner get the house they’ve shared???” Ummm, that’s called a will, actually. It has nothing to do with marriage. You can leave your house or your car or your ipod to whoever you want, you don’t have to be married to them. “What about insurance?” This was a good argument for me. I think committed couples should be able to have the same insurance benefits that traditionally married couples do. It doesn’t make sense to me that they should be denied that. And you know what? It turns out they’re not. Have you ever seen the question on paperwork that asks if you are in a “domestic partnership?” That’s what that is. A domestic partnership can be between a boyfriend and girlfriend that have lived together for years but never actually got married, or it can be between a couple of the same sex. It’s a legal thing. They can have the same benefits as being a “spouse” for things like your health insurance or car insurance or school financial aid. (Incidentally, I’m a child of a couple that was in what we would call today a domestic partnership. My parents had lived together since before I was born but never got married. They never had any problems with health insurance or visiting each other in the hospital or any of that.) So, legally, a domestic partnership is just as valid as a marriage. (Family Code § 297.5.)
If that’s the case, then what are same-sex couples missing out on exactly? They have all the legal benefits that traditionally married couples do. California has the most extensive domestic partnership laws in the country. (There are a few benefits that they cannot have, but they are all federal benefits, such as social security. We can make whatever laws we want in California and that’s not going to change federal law.)
What same-sex couples are missing out on is that piece of paper that says, “Congratulations, you’re a normal married couple.” They’re missing out on that day when their friends and family gather together and they commit themselves to each other. But the thing is they don’t need a law for that. They can have that. There are several churches that have been performing “marriages” or “sacred unions” or “commitment ceremonies” right along. Maybe not the Catholic Church, maybe not The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but chances are if they are active members of a church, they’re most likely attending a church that would recognize their union. What they want is to be accepted as a “married” couple among society. But just changing the language to call it “marriage” isn’t going to accomplish that. If people don’t believe gay people should be allowed to marry they’re not going to all of a sudden change their minds because now it’s legally called “marriage.” The opponents of Proposition 8 are trying to stop the discrimination that they feel in their daily lives by changing the legal wording. That won’t stop discrimination. It takes time; it takes generations slowly teaching their children tolerance.
Again, here’s where it gets sticky … we have this little thing called “separation between church and state,” and it’s pretty darn important. Churches can make their own decisions about what is “allowed” in their congregation, and the government decides what is legal in the secular world. This is where the problem lies with opposing Proposition 8. When the supreme court overturned Prop 22 it made a dangerous step across that church/state line. If a church does not accept same-sex marriage there is potential that they could face legal action. Even if it doesn’t hold up in court at first (and I think eventually it might) it could still go to trial over and over and over, causing great financial strain which takes away from the good things that churches do, like humanitarian work.
Here’s the issue that I think would be affected more immediately. Many churches have adoption services. If an adoption agency refused to place a child in an adoptive family solely because the adoptive parents were the same sex they would most definitely face legal action. Would these church sponsored adoption agencies change their minds and begin placing children with same-sex parents because this new law told them to? Maybe some, but not very many. They would close their doors before that happened. Charities work better than government. Private adoption agencies work better than state-run adoption services. Look at the back log in the foster care system. It’s so daunting to try and adopt a foster child many parents don’t even try. Can you imagine what would happen to that, already pathetically flawed system, if all of a sudden most of the private adoption agencies closed up shop?
The main thing that I learned from my research is that Proposition 8 really won’t do anything to help same-sex couples. Voting “No” doesn’t give them any more rights. Voting “Yes” doesn’t take away any of their rights. But, voting “No” does begin fuzzying that line between church and state. I don’t want the government legislating morals. I do want everyone to have equal rights. I am voting “Yes” because I believe that is the only vote that will accomplish both of those things. Oh, ... AND because the Prophet said to, and he knows a lot more than we do. Do I plan on putting a sign in my yard? No. Not because I’m embarrassed of my decision to vote “Yes,” but because I couldn’t fit everything on the sign I would want to. Many people see a “Yes on 8” sign as a display of intolerance. I would never want someone to feel that I am judging them or their lifestyle. My vote is not stemming from hatred or fear that “the gays” are gonna take over. My vote comes because I want the government to stay out of faith-based issues, and because I want to protect the rights of everyone to practice their own beliefs whatever they may be.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73oZ_pe1MZ8&feature=related ... just because I like him :)
Supporters of Proposition 8 say they want to protect marriage and protect the family. The No-On-Prop-8-Supporters say that they want equality for all, and that same-sex couples deserve to have the legal and financial benefits given to traditional married couples.
This has been a tough decision for me. I feel like no one should be discriminated against, especially from a gospel perspective. I’ve received several emails of “Yes on 8” propaganda. All of them have made me cringe. Most of them were videos on YouTube. Not only were they cheesy, but they were ignorant, and almost bigoted. They were obviously using fear tactics to get their message across, and it wasn’t working for me.
Here’s where it gets sticky … The Church doesn’t say much about politics. In fact, the only time I know of the First Presidency encouraging us to vote a certain way has been with Proposition 22, and now Proposition 8. So I know the Prophet has said that we should vote “Yes,” and I KNOW that he knows best, but I’ve had a hard time figuring out why exactly it’s so important that our state’s constitution specifically recognizes marriage only between a man and a woman. So up until recently my sample ballot has been checked “yes” only because I believe the prophet knows best, but I certainly wasn’t planning on sticking a sign in my yard or knocking on doors like many of our ward members.
The only argument I have been hearing from supporters of Prop 8 that seems half way credible is that, because of education code § 51890, if same-sex marriage became legal it would have to be taught in public schools as being no different from traditional marriage. (This is where the scary music comes on and they show the children’s book depicting “Bobby’s dad and his partner, Chuck, making dinner.”) Okay, so ... I don’t actually have a problem with that. I actually want my son to understand that there are all different kinds of families out there, people make different choices, they try to figure out how to be happy in this big world with lots of choices, and I certainly would never want him to feel inclined to make fun of “Bobby-with-the-two-dads.” It’s at home that we would have the conversation about how important family is, and how the kind of marriage that Heavenly Father has planned for us is only between a man and a woman. But that doesn’t mean if someone makes a different choice that they are a bad person or that we should treat them differently. It means that we should be thankful we have the gospel that shows us how to make the best choices so that we can have the most happiness. I don’t ever want to depend on the public school system to teach my children morals or values. That is my job. And if I feel that my child is in a poisonous environment and is being brainwashed, then that’s when I step in as a parent and find a private school that suits my values, or begin homeschooling. So the whole argument about it being the end of the world if diversity is taught in public school just doesn’t fly with me.
On the other side of the argument we hear, “We need to have same-sex marriage legally recognized so that same-sex partners can visit eachother in the hospital.” Really??? We need to make a law to change hospital policies? I actually couldn’t find any real instance of someone not being able to visit their partner in the hospital because they weren’t legally married, but I have heard a lot of talk about that; that it’s absolutely not acceptable for that to happen. I agree. It’s not. But if we legalize same-sex marriage does that mean we’ll never have to worry about that? Will you have to keep your marriage certificate folded up in your wallet just in case? Come on, that’s silly. If hospital policy is discriminating, you tell the hospital. If they don’t budge you have a protest. Everybody loves a good protest … except hospitals. That’s bad for their reputation, and that changes things quick. But do you know why we haven’t seen any protests on T.V.? Because it’s not happening! It’s not a real problem! (At least not in California.) It’s just something completely hypothetical that sounds scary. “What about the legal aspects? If a partner dies, how will their surviving partner get the house they’ve shared???” Ummm, that’s called a will, actually. It has nothing to do with marriage. You can leave your house or your car or your ipod to whoever you want, you don’t have to be married to them. “What about insurance?” This was a good argument for me. I think committed couples should be able to have the same insurance benefits that traditionally married couples do. It doesn’t make sense to me that they should be denied that. And you know what? It turns out they’re not. Have you ever seen the question on paperwork that asks if you are in a “domestic partnership?” That’s what that is. A domestic partnership can be between a boyfriend and girlfriend that have lived together for years but never actually got married, or it can be between a couple of the same sex. It’s a legal thing. They can have the same benefits as being a “spouse” for things like your health insurance or car insurance or school financial aid. (Incidentally, I’m a child of a couple that was in what we would call today a domestic partnership. My parents had lived together since before I was born but never got married. They never had any problems with health insurance or visiting each other in the hospital or any of that.) So, legally, a domestic partnership is just as valid as a marriage. (Family Code § 297.5.)
If that’s the case, then what are same-sex couples missing out on exactly? They have all the legal benefits that traditionally married couples do. California has the most extensive domestic partnership laws in the country. (There are a few benefits that they cannot have, but they are all federal benefits, such as social security. We can make whatever laws we want in California and that’s not going to change federal law.)
What same-sex couples are missing out on is that piece of paper that says, “Congratulations, you’re a normal married couple.” They’re missing out on that day when their friends and family gather together and they commit themselves to each other. But the thing is they don’t need a law for that. They can have that. There are several churches that have been performing “marriages” or “sacred unions” or “commitment ceremonies” right along. Maybe not the Catholic Church, maybe not The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but chances are if they are active members of a church, they’re most likely attending a church that would recognize their union. What they want is to be accepted as a “married” couple among society. But just changing the language to call it “marriage” isn’t going to accomplish that. If people don’t believe gay people should be allowed to marry they’re not going to all of a sudden change their minds because now it’s legally called “marriage.” The opponents of Proposition 8 are trying to stop the discrimination that they feel in their daily lives by changing the legal wording. That won’t stop discrimination. It takes time; it takes generations slowly teaching their children tolerance.
Again, here’s where it gets sticky … we have this little thing called “separation between church and state,” and it’s pretty darn important. Churches can make their own decisions about what is “allowed” in their congregation, and the government decides what is legal in the secular world. This is where the problem lies with opposing Proposition 8. When the supreme court overturned Prop 22 it made a dangerous step across that church/state line. If a church does not accept same-sex marriage there is potential that they could face legal action. Even if it doesn’t hold up in court at first (and I think eventually it might) it could still go to trial over and over and over, causing great financial strain which takes away from the good things that churches do, like humanitarian work.
Here’s the issue that I think would be affected more immediately. Many churches have adoption services. If an adoption agency refused to place a child in an adoptive family solely because the adoptive parents were the same sex they would most definitely face legal action. Would these church sponsored adoption agencies change their minds and begin placing children with same-sex parents because this new law told them to? Maybe some, but not very many. They would close their doors before that happened. Charities work better than government. Private adoption agencies work better than state-run adoption services. Look at the back log in the foster care system. It’s so daunting to try and adopt a foster child many parents don’t even try. Can you imagine what would happen to that, already pathetically flawed system, if all of a sudden most of the private adoption agencies closed up shop?
The main thing that I learned from my research is that Proposition 8 really won’t do anything to help same-sex couples. Voting “No” doesn’t give them any more rights. Voting “Yes” doesn’t take away any of their rights. But, voting “No” does begin fuzzying that line between church and state. I don’t want the government legislating morals. I do want everyone to have equal rights. I am voting “Yes” because I believe that is the only vote that will accomplish both of those things. Oh, ... AND because the Prophet said to, and he knows a lot more than we do. Do I plan on putting a sign in my yard? No. Not because I’m embarrassed of my decision to vote “Yes,” but because I couldn’t fit everything on the sign I would want to. Many people see a “Yes on 8” sign as a display of intolerance. I would never want someone to feel that I am judging them or their lifestyle. My vote is not stemming from hatred or fear that “the gays” are gonna take over. My vote comes because I want the government to stay out of faith-based issues, and because I want to protect the rights of everyone to practice their own beliefs whatever they may be.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73oZ_pe1MZ8&feature=related ... just because I like him :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)